Back Stories: Cosmo and Nation McKinley
by MagentaQuinn
Summary: Cosmo and Nation, the Vitus's first cousins, have been to an array of places, with an array of surnames. From another galaxy, how could they adjust to Earth? And, from the tendency in their family to be jealous, what could happen? Has some Rocky. Never mind. I suck at math. And I'm not good at planning things. So, it's still on the same update schedule, one every Thursday.
1. Chapter 1

A/N As an awkward way to start this fic out, I have to say, sadly, the idea for this came to me in a dream. And a wise person told me to never dwell on dreams. Ten points if you know who I'm talking about. I dreamt about Cosmo and Nation in all the places like South Africa, Germany, England, and thought that they had to of had a good reason to move to Denton. Then, when I woke up, it was about three in the morning, I wrote everything I remembered down, then back to sleep. I wrote exactly, "Cosmo and Nation are not Riffy and Gentas, are born on bisexual," which I think I remembered that from Diary of a Groupie, (check it out...), but I don't know. "They get married, and try to have babies. Burt rapes Cosmo." Exacly. I have... Creative dreams. But I think you will like this. This is in Cosmo's POV, just so you know. And the chapters will be a lot shorter then this, this is just to start them off. Oh, I don't own anything mentioned. I am also doing thoughts to ponder. You will be seeing a lot of him, but here is today's thought to ponder: You have brains in your head; You have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose.

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I'm not sure how it started. But I really do think it started when I saw her come home.

I was trusted home alone, because I didn't really have a choice. My second mother had been killed in battle shortly after Nation was conceived. we were full blooded brother and sister, same Mum, same donor. I was, as usual, sitting on my bed, face buried in a book. I could read very well for a two year old, or, more accurately, I read as well as most ten year olds. Never the less, I was on the bed, and I heard the door after about a week, being checked on every other day by the neighbor.

The door clicked open, and latched shut, and I heard my mother's heel clicks down the small hall. She knocked on my door, but opened it anyway, as I did not speak. After Mummy died, I was practically mute. To other people. But I would sing myself to sleep at night. I always thought she heard, but she never mentioned it. "Cosmo." I put my book down. "If you read without candles, you'll hurt your eyes." I rolled my eyes. The little pink bundle in her arms started to fuss, bringing us both back. "I'm sorry I was gone for so long. Did the neighbors feed you?" I nodded. "Good. I don't really think they told you why I was gone, huh?" I shook my head. "Well, mum doesn't have a baby in her stomach anymore. Here she is." She held down the pink bundle, and she stopped fussing. We both just looked at each other. Her bright, emerald eyes, were alert even then. And her bright red locks were thin and short, but curly. "Her name is Nation."

"She's pretty."

Mum gasped. "Ye-Yes. She is... You talked."

"Yes. I can sing too."

"She - she likes it when people sing."

"Of course. She is from our galaxy."

"Amazing, the first time you talk in five months, and it's sarcasm." She tapped my nose.

"What should I sing?"

"I don't know? What do you usually sing?"

"I don't know. Just random lyrics."

"Do you remember that old lullaby Mummy used to sing to you? Could you sing it to her?"

"Sure. I remember. The other night dear, as I lay sleeping. I dreamed I held you in my arms. But when I woke, dear, I was mistaken. So I hung my head and I cried. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

"I'll always love you and make you happy, if you will only say the same. But if you leave me and love another, you'll regret it all someday." We sang together, causing Nation to laugh. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

And, close to the song, things were not always so sunshiney. I would hit her, and pick on her. I didn't know any better. But we would make up. We were each other's only friends. If I would get mad at her and rip one of her doll's dresses, I would calm down, go out, and get fabric that isn't black, she hated that color. I would go out and get a bright color cloth, and bring it back for her to make a dress. Of course, I would usually make the dress, and put it on the doll, in fact... I did most everything. But she always loved the dresses, so I could never complain.

But one day, when I was about seven, she was five. Mum was planning a party, I think to look good for the Vitus's. We had been picking on each other, but Mum snapped. "Cosmo! Apologize to your sister! Kiss her! I've just had enough."

"I'm sorry, Nation."

"It's okay." I kissed her forehead, and I could feel her blush.

"Good. Go to your guy's room, I have to clean." I walked quickly, and she followed, we knew what Mum could be like when she was upset.

I curled up on my bed, and was preparing to read, and she was brushing one of her doll's hair. She put it down suddenly, and I glanced up over my book.

"Cosmo... I'm starting school this year."

"Hmm."

"And I was wondering... I know how to read... But I could use some practice. And you can read very well... So I was wondering if you could tutor me?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Sure." She trotted over here, and ducked under my arm. We sat like that, for hours, just her reading, and me helping her occasionaly, until Mum called us for dinner. She intrduced us to the Vitus's that night. Nation and Magenta hit it off, leaving Riff Raff and I awkwardly sitting on my bed, while the girls played with dolls in the floor. I finally gave up and started to pull out a book, and he caught me, and we started to have a conversation. It was then that Magenta got fed up.

"Come on! Riffy! You sit there like a rock until the poor guy pulls a book out, and you pounce on him!" She went over and sat on his lap. She's two years older than Nation, and Riff Raff was two years older then me. "You need to lighten up."

She leaned her head back and laughed, and Nation blushed.

A few weeks later, Mum announced that they would stay the night with us. Nation took Magenta to the sitting room, leaving Riff Raff and I in Nation and my room.

We sat in silence, as usual, I read, and Riff Raff sat and admired the large bookshelf of my mother's, which had almost every medical book in all of Transylvania. But that day, Riff was just looking at the ground. Me, who had read several of the psychology books, knew something was wrong. "You act like something is bothering you." He looked up at me, in shock, I usually never spoke.

"No... I'm fine... It's just... We are from another planet, and your mother... She wants Nation and Magenta to marry."

"So?"

"Do you know just how ignorant you are? She wants them to marry each other."

"Y-you're not kidding?"

"Why would I kid about something like that?"

"But why would you care so much? I would imagine, you being from Transexual, you would be fine with same sex marrige..."

"Oh." He sat up straighter. "I was under the impression... That... You know what? Never mind." He smiled at me, which that was the first time he had done so.

"No... I want to know."

"I... I was under the impression that you cared for Nation as more than a sister."

"You mean like a friend?"

"Yeah... I guess you could say that."

It took me about four more years to know what he meant. All the time, my Nation and Magenta were growing closer. And then, one night, when Nation was about thirteen, she walked into our room after she had said goodbye to Magenta. She was in a slight daze, and I peeked over the edge of my book. "You should sit down." I smiled at her. "You look kind of woozy." Instead of laughing at herself, she just glared at me, but sat down anyway. I think she decided she wasn't comfy, because she curled up like a ball like she used to when she was young. She was too big to do this now, but that didn't stop me from tickling her. Instead, she batted my hands away. "What's wrong dear?"

She sat up suddenly, looked like she was about to shout, but didn't, because she knew Mum was right beside us. "Don't call me dear!" She softened a little. "I- I'm sorry. Just... Genta told me something a little weird."

"What?" I put my arm around her, she tensed up, but didn't push it off.

"She told me she likes Riff. Like, like likes." She put her head on my shoulder. "I mean do people really do that? Like their brother? I mean, Magenta and I are cousins... But that is different."

"Well, I don't know. Some people have different tastes," I mumbled under my breath.

She turned around, eyes wide, and practically jumped up. "No. No... Not you too. I - I couldn't..."

"I never said anything..." I blushed and looked at the floor out of shame.

"Co-" She took a deep breath. "Cosmo. Do you have feelings for me?"

"I don't know... It's kind of complicated."

"Cosmo. This is a yes or no question!"

I sighed. "Yes. I do. It's not normal, on this planet at least. But I'm leaving in six months, so you won't have to put up with me for much longer."

"I'll always put up with you." She sighed and sat back down on my bed. "I mean... You are my brother."

I grimaced. "Do you have to say that?"

"Say what?"

"That I'm your brother. That makes this whole thing even more weird."

"I-I'm sorry. What do you want me to call you?"

"I don't know. Just not brother."

"How about..." She entwined her hand in mine. "Boyfriend?"

"What?" I looked at her like she was nuts.

"You never asked me if I had feelings for you. I acted freaked out so you wouldn't find out I felt the same way."

"So what do we do now?"

"I don't... Know... Hmm. We probably should tell Mum."

"I wouldn't dream of it. You know how she would freak out."

"I don't think so."

"She wouldn't let us share a room if she thought we were up to something."

"Half the siblings we know share a room. And who knows? They might be involved like we are."

"They're... Not, Nation."

"How do you know?" She put her head on my shoulder. "I still think we should tell mum."

"I have an idea. Get Magenta and Riff Raff's parents over here too, and tell them at the same time."

"I'll phone Genta. Tell her we are out in the open, and tell her to speed her arse up and tell Riff."

I laughed as she got up and walked out of the room. "Hey - I love you."

I winked at her, and she smiled at me. "I - I love you too." This was our first time saying this as a couple, and she nodded her head, smiled, and walked out the door.

I waited a little while, about ten minutes, she walked back in the room. "How'd it go?"

"Not good. Riff Raff's mentor won't let him come to our planet from Earth unless he comes too. And, he is a fucking transvestite."

"Don't say that, please."

"Why not? Does it bother you your little sister cusses?"

"Kind of! I'm still bothered with it, even if we are together."

"Hold on. Genta asked me something I didn't really know the answer too. If someone were to walk up to me and ask if I had a boyfriend, what should I say?"

"I suppose you could say yes. I would say yes if someone asked me if I had a girlfriend."

"That's sweet." We layed on my bed, hand in hand, her head on my shoulder, until it was time to eat. We played it cool, but Mum knew something was up. And then, about a week later, came the day that Riff Raff, his mentor, Magenta, and their parents all piled into our small apartment.

The first to speak was their mentor, Frank 'N' Furter. "Hello! I'm Frank, I believe you are Cosmo, and," he took her hand and kissed it, leaving a lipstick mark, "Nation? Enchanted. And I believe you are their Mum? Very nice to meet you all, but I believe we were called here with a purpose?"

"Yes," Magenta pipped up, "could you all sit down in the kitchen?"

We all followed, and sat down. The four of us, Magenta, Riff Raff, Nation and I, at the bar, and the rest of them at the table. "We have something we would like to announce. Magneta and I don't want to marry, we have fallen in love with other people. We can't be the queens."

"What? Who could be more perfect for you guys then each other?"

We all looked at our partners. Their Mum looked like she was about to scream out of joy, but she just whispered. "I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"They have had such a connection..."

Frank just grinned. "I know what's going o-hon!" He sang. He was about the same age as Riff, and he was still full of youth.

"What? Frank is it?"

"Yes, it's Frank. What is your name?"

"Sherri, what's wrong with my babies?"

"Nothing's wrong, but they're in love."

"Well, who is it that they can't get married anyway and get to the throne?"

"It's not legal..."

"Why not?"

"They're in love, but with each other."

"I still don't understand."

"Mum! Cosmo and I like each other!"

"I still don't, I'm sorry."

"Hon, they love each other." Our Mum widened her eyes as their Mum put her hands on her leg.

"So they're... Dating?"

"You could say that." Nation looked at Mum for approval.

"I need a drink."

"I second that. What do ya' have?" Magenta And Riff Raff's father got up too.

"Wine. Nothing stronger."

"Damn."

They took the bottle and left the room, leaving Nation, Frank, Magenta, Riff Raff, their Mum and I sitting there. "You guys are so cute." Frank perked up at his comment. "I'm glad I'm taking in Genta, too, so they can be together." Genta glared at him, while he brushed a fake smile onto his face.

And this was the extent of both our childhood's... Until I was sent to our mentor.


	2. Chapter 2

It was hell the morning the staff came to get me. We said all of our goodbyes, and they informed me I was going to Earth, but in some place called England. I had to promise to write Nation everyday, and she would write back. We took a transducer, so the wait was quicker, not at all like the wait when you use a shuttle. I mean - two weeks compared to about two minutes. We arrived in a pretty well furnished bathroom, with two people in it. My mentor, and the lady's daughter.

"Hello! It is an honor to finally be a mentor, I applied so many times, and then they trust me with you."

"It's fine. So is you two all there is?"

"Well, this is Nell, and after my husband got divorced, he got our children, and since one is grown up, She spends summers with me. She's eleven."

"How nice. So is my room around here?"

"Oh, yeah! It's just around here!" She walked around the corner, and gestured for me to follow her. walked with her, into a small hall. "I forgot you didn't have a sun, and the window might be a little bright, but you can just shut the blinds." She opened the door, and soft sunlight flowed in. "I also want to apologize, because I only have one room, so when your sister comes, she'll have to share a room with you. You'll already have to share a room with Nell, but I don't think that'll be a problem. She's pretty quiet."

"That's fine. And I'm used to rooming with Nation."

"Yeah, your mum told me you two were together."

"Yes... Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, I think it's cute. I can't imagine how you guys are excluded."

"That's easy. How do you feel when you are alone, without Nell, without anyone? Now, double that, take away about six, and how do you feel?"

"Horrible. Wow, is that really what it's like?"

"Every moment, being together around our Mum, the rest of our family, anyone who knows we are siblings. But it is worth it, just being together."

"That's sweet."

And we spent the next two years having talks like that, and two more visits with Nell, since she left a day after I arrived, because summer was almost over. I wrote Nation everyday, and she wrote back almost as often. And, the day Nation turned sixteen, I was waiting anxiously. Nell walked in, and sighed. "She is going to be here." She was about thirteen now. "I know. But who knows where she is in the meantime?"

"Traveling through time and space?"

I sighed, but felt the tingling of the transducer, and both our heads popped up. Before I knew it, I was up and through the door of the bedroom and into the bathroom. I got there just in time to see her materialize completely. She just looked at me dumbfounded. "I thought... You're eighteen... Right?"

"Elizabeth here told me I could stay two more years."

"Elizabeth, nice name." She smiled, and stuck her hand out.

She shook it, and smiled. "You will have to share a room with Cosmo and Nell, if that's not a problem. Nell is only here during summer."

"That shouldn't be a problem." She winked at me.

"Yeah. I heard about you two. It's so cute." We all just sat there awkwardly.

"Now kiss..."

"Nell!"

"I'm sorry Cosmo. You just look so cute together."

"Should we show her to our room?"

"Sure..." She sighed, overdramatically, and walked out of the room. "This will be your room Nation. Will you kiss now?"

Nation put her bags down, walked slowly over to me, put her arms around my neck, and pressed her lips to mine. I put my hands on her waist as she shoved her tongue in my mouth. We stood there for about a minute, before she started to clear her throat. Nation broke away. "What?"

"You know, you should be a little nicer to me. I am your mentor's daughter."

"I'm sorry. Just a little grumpy. The sun is nothing like I thought it would be."

"I'm sorry. Do you have any questions about Earth?"

"A few... But one comes to mind at this moment. In Cosmo's letters, he said you was have Tranny half Earthling. Is she getting mentored?"

"No." Elizabeth piped up. "Since she isn't full Tranny, she can't be mentored. This is really just to help deal with your tick."

"But some people still have ticks if they are half Earthling."

"We don't care about Earthlings."

"They have made several medical discoveries."

"Yes. And we perfected them."

"Why are we not supposed to care?"

"Look, I know you two have a lot to catch up on, so I'll fix dinner." She smiled and left the room.

I layed down on the bed, and she layed down next to me. "We have catching up to do."

"Yes... We do don't we?"

She laughed and rolled on top of me, and we started kissing again. I feel like Columbia used to, saying this, but I am not really good at writing... Situations like this... So I would just like to leave it up to the imagination. I would like to say that this was not the first time, and certainly not the last.

A/N I own nothing. Today's thought to ponder: Friends are like snowflakes, when you pee on them, they disappear.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sure Elizabeth and Nell heard us, so they waited about twenty minutes after we were done."Guys... Dinner's ready. Get dressed." I heard Nell laugh at this. I could also hear her mumble, as her voice can break a glass. We obeyed, and got dressed as quickly as possible. I led Nation to a small dinning area near the kitchen, and we sat down and started to eat. We sat a little awkwardly, especially with Nell winking at me.

"Very vocal Cosmo."

"Nell..."

"It's alright, Elizabeth." Well, I was alright, Nation's face was about as red as her hair.

"I had no idea that you would be the screamer. It's usually the lady."

"Not necessarily." I kicked her under the table as Nation spoke.

"Oww! Mum, Cosmo kicked me."

"That's all I want from both of you. Geoff should be here any minute, and I want you guys in your room. He should clean there in a few days while you guys are in school."

"We go to school? Magenta and Riff Raff don't go to school."

"Magenta and Riff Raff?"

"Our cousins."

"Oh, the ones who are mentored by a Furter?" She smiled blankly.

"Yeah. It's nothing to be proud of. He fails all his students several times so he isn't without help. He won't let them do anything either. Hardly lets them go out of the house." She took another bite of her chicken after she dipped it in her potatoes.

"Wow... And he's royalty."

"I guess some of them aren't as good as people think." Nell wrapped a piece of salami around a pickle.

"I'll say. Magenta and Riff Raff even have uniforms. A French maid's dress and a butler's uniform."

"That's horrible." We chatted on a little more, and we were sent to our room when Geoff came.

"So who is this Geoff guy?"

"He's our butler, and I'm dating his son."

"That's nice. How far have you gotten?"

"Nation!" I looked at her like she was insane, but she wrinkled her nose and waited for Nell to speak.

"No! Cosmo, it's fine." She turned back to Nation. "Not far. No further than open mouth kissing."

"That's a shame." After Geoff left, we took turns with our showers. It was Nell first, as always, then me, and then we let Nation go.

"Cosmo?"

"I'm coming. What story do you want this time?"

"Which do you think?"

"Right." I didn't even have to get the book out, I knew this so well. "In an old house in Paris, that was covered in vines lived twelve little girls, in two straight lines. In two straight lines they broke their bread, and brushed their teeth, and went to bed. They smiled at the good, and frowned at the bad, and sometimes they were very sad. They left the house at half past nine, in two straight lines, in rain, or shine. The smallest one was Madeline. She was not afraid of mice, she loved winter, snow and ice. To the tiger at the zoo, Madeline said 'pooh pooh.'" She took advantage of my language skills making me say the words the characters say in French. "And nobody knew so well how to frighten Miss Clavel. In the middle of one night, Miss Clavel turned on her light and said 'quelque chose n'est pas juste.' Little Madeline sat in bed, cried and cried, her eyes were red. And soon after Dr. Cohn came, he rushed out to the phone and he dialed DANton-ten-six, 'infirmière,' he said, 'il s'agit d'une annexe!' everybody had to cry, and not a single eye was dry! Madeline was in his arm, in a blanket safe and... Warm." She laughed as I tried to rhyme arm with warm. "In a car with a red light, they drove out into the night. Madeline woke up two hours later, in a room with flowers. Madeline soon ate and drank, and on her bed there was a crank, and a crack on the ceiling had a habit of sometimes looking like a rabbit. Outside were birds, trees, and sky, and so ten days passed quickly by. One nice morning Miss Clavel said, 'N'est-ce pas une belle journée pour visiter Madeline.' Visitors from two to four, said a sign outside her door. Tiptoeing with solemn face, with some flowers and a vase. In they walked and then said, 'ahhh,' when they saw the toys and candy and the dollhouse from Papa. But the biggest surprise so far, on her stomach was a scar! 'au revoir,' they said, 'nous viendrons à nouveau,' and the little girls left in the rain. They went home, and broke their bread, and brushed their teeth, and went to bed. In the middle of one night, Miss Clavel turned on her light and said 'quelque chose n'est pas juste.' And afraid of disaster, Miss Clavel ran faster and faster." I heard Nation walk out of the bathroom, and she peeked her eye in the door. Nell was just falling asleep. I put my finger to my lips. "Ans she said, 's'il vous plaît les enfants, dites-moi ce qui vous préoccupe?' And all the little girls cried 'Boohoo, nous voulons que notre appendice trop!'" Nell always like to listen to this part, so I said it in English. "'Good night girls! Thank the lord you are well! Now go to sleep,' said Miss Clavel. And she turned out the light, and closed the door, and that's all there is, there isn't anymore." I felt Nell go to sleep, and gestured Nation inside.

"What was that?" She smiled at me.

"Madeline, by Ludwig Bemelmans."

"I know that, you used to read it to me all the time. Why did you recite it to her? I thought she was like, thirteen."

"She is, but she's really soft. Like, really really soft. If you could hear how quiet she sings sometimes, and she speaks quietly too, she just talks a lot. It's kind of cute how innocent she is."

"Cute?" Nation smiled at me.

"Baby, I am five years older than her. I don't think it would work out."

"Well, when you're ninety, she'll be eighty five, and that won't be such a big difference."

"You don't have anything to worry about. School is starting next week, and she'll be gone."

"Aww... She seemed kind of nice."

"If that's what you want to call it." She laughed, and it was like a bell ringing, but she cut it off when Nell snorted. We settled into bed after she got dressed, and she fell asleep almost as soon as I had my arms around her.

A/N Like I said, Madeline is not mine, it is Ludwig Bemelmans. Today's thought to ponder: How come when you are a child, you say,"Hmm. A book." But grown, you seem to go, "Ohh! I never remembered this part! This part either! Oh, I remember this!" And tend to get a little emotional.


	4. Chapter 4

Elizabeth let Nation sleep in, like she let me do my first day, but woke me up at the crack of dawn, like usual. I fed the cat, I waited until it was positive it was done, as it wouldn't finish eating if it was alone, got dressed in proper clothes, drank the cup of coffee Elizabeth always left for me, and walked to the post office. I got the letters, which had a few from the colleges I applied to, and went back home. It was about seven fifteen when I got back, Nell should be getting up soon. Elizabeth and I don't talk in the mornings, it suits us both well. I put the keys to the box back on the rack by the door, I laid the other letters down on the counter, and brought the letters for me to the table. I sighed, and opened them. It's different, you have to apply to a college on your home planet, if you go at all, and they start later than the ones on Earth do. We regret to inform you- nope. Two more of those, and I was to the last one. Elizabeth came over, sipping her tea, still in her robe, messy hair, with her glasses on. I liked the way she looked in the morning, before she fixed her hair, put her contacts in, put on makeup. I sighed, and opened the last letter. I felt my mouth crack into a grin as I read more and more of the letter. She raised her eyes at me, and I handed her the letter. She clapped her hands, and got up. She ran to the kitchen, and started to get ingredients out for some Tranyslvanian dishes. I heard Nell get up, make her bed, and tiptoe out here.

"You feed the cat?"

"Don't I always?"

"Usually, but you never know. What is she fixin' today?"

"Special occasion food. I got accepted."

"College! Congratulations! But... How are you going to do this? Leave Nation here, and you go? I know it takes a long time to get a Ph.D, like eight years, right?"

"About nine. I have no idea. I think I'll stay here, and just go to classes on the computer they supply when you start."

"Computer?"

"Yeah. And it's really, really small too. You can even transport it."

"That's cool. What are you going to tell Nation?"

"I don't really know... What should I tell her?"

"I don't know... I guess that, if my father would let me, I could stay here."

"You would do that for her?"

"I guess. She seems nice. Besides, no one likes me at my old school, maybe people will like me in England."

"Okay. That's probably the nicest thing you've done while I was here."

"Besides, knowing and upperclassmen might get me real points."

"And the old Nell is back, nice to see you again."

"Shut up Cosmo." We laughed for a little while, until Nation came out of her room.

"Hey, darling, you will never believe it."

"What? I most likely will, but tell me!"

"I got accepted into a college!"

"Oh... Yay! How will you work the living arrangements out?"

"We'll find out a way. There is no way I'm letting you stay alone for seven years."

"Seven? It takes about nine... Doesn't it?"

"You'll be here for two years. Nell is asking her father if she can stay for school this year."

"That's so sweet."

"And dad won't let me wear high hemmed skirts."

"Okay..."

"So you're telling me you don't wear high skirts?"

"No... I don't really see the appeal."

"Sex."

"What?"

"Sex appeal, darling. I bet Cosmo would like it." I glared at Nell for getting me into the conversation. "Wouldn't you?"

"I love Nation the way she is."

"Thank you Cosmo. I love you too. But those glasses are really creepy."

"I told you so!"

"Is it eight already?"

"If it wasn't, would I talk?"

"True. Are you okay with everything?"

"Sure. Having another girl here might distract Nell from talking so much."

"I don't talk that much, Mum."

"Yeah you do hon. Call your dad. Tell him to go fuck himself."

"Really Elizabeth?"

"Sorry, masturbate himself."

"That's not much better."

"What do you want me to say?"

"How about, 'hello, could Nell stay the year over here?' I think he might consider letting her stay."

"Cosmo, I know you want to be a psycho, but could you not rub it off on me?"

"What?"

"Psychology, Elizabeth."

"Whatever." We laughed a while, and went on with our daily schedule. But, as time passes too quickly, and it was time for Nation to go school.

A/N I don't own anything. Today is a special post, because today is my birthday. Nothing to really get excited about. Although, it's six in the morning, and some guy with pink hair just walked up the street, when I went to shout at the birds. Things are looking up... But, I'm posting this because I'm lonely. I made my mum watch Shocky, right after Rocky, and here are some update I typed during Rocky, which was on the television.

Watching Rocky with mum... Always a fun time... Frank/Janet right now... Cut to commercial... Mum is laughing at how I averted my eyes. She'll start singing soon... I came down during Rocky's creation, and she tried to convince my little brother to be Eddie. He runs if he even hears "The Rocky-" boom. He's gone. Oh Shit! I can't look at Genta checking out Riffy... But I want to so badly... Okay. That part's gone... Riffy's sucking on Genta's neck... Brad... DAMMIT!

Now my thoughts after watching Shocky. After watching it yet again, my mum still does not understand why I have to look away during Lullaby. Or, anything with Nation and Comso together. She asked why Richard was so obsessed with incest... I honestly can't answer that.

Well, good morning to some people... Today's thought to ponder: When your in school, it drags on and on, but when you get out, you suddenly wake up and go, "What the hell just happened?"


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I just thought I would let you know, this is switching to Nation's POV. I will give the thought to ponder at the end, just remember this is Nation speaking.

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"A dance?"

"Nell, please."

"You sit at a bar, drinking water!"

"And why is that a problem?"

"Get up! So, he's not here. What does that matter?"

"Come on, dance!" She took my hand and led me to a place where all the people were dancing. She twirled me around, ans whispered in my ear. All I heard was beeping.

"What?"

The beeping continued. "Nation. Get up!" I felt something hit my face, and I was woken up. "First day of school. Get up. So he's not here, what does it matter?"

"I don't like school, I never did."

"Well you get to come to school with me! Yay!"

I groaned and got up. Cosmo left at six each morning, to get to the college stuff. He didn't get back until about an hour after I got home from school either. I'm just glad Nell's father let her stay. "Hey Elizabeth." She sat down a mug of something down beside a plate of eggs and bacon, and went back to singing. "Out of pitch!"

"Could you do it better?"

"Probably not. I know how to sing, it doesn't mean I'm good at it."

"Well try!"

"Nell, I don't want to."

"Come on, it will be fun. Mum, you want her to sing, right?"

"Sure."

"Okay..." I waited to the next full lyric. "Every time I look at you, somethin' is on my mind. If you do what I want you to, baby, we'd be so fine! Life could be a dream, if I could take you up in paradise up above. If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love, life could be a dream, sweetheart!" I let the people on the record back me up. "Hey nonny ding dong, alang alang alang, ba-doh, ba-doo ba-doodle-ay. Life could be a dream, life could be a dream, sweetheart! Life could be a dream, if only all my precious plans would come true, if you would let me spend my whole life loving you, life could be a dream, sweetheart!" I paused. "Can I eat now?"

"Yeah! Sure! You have a really good voice."

"No I don't. You just want me to shut up."

"No, you do! And Cosmo sings well too."

"Good voices _do_ run in the family." I finished eating, headed to my room to put on the uniform, and got Nell hers. I waited until she was finished, grabbed my bag, and headed out the door. "Elizabeth, I'm going over to Carol's this afternoon! Be there for a few hours!"

"Kay, bye! Have a good time!" The school day passed pretty quickly, and I headed over to Carol's after sending Nell on her way home. I met up with Rose on the way there, another girl from Transylvania.

I walked in the front door. "Hey Evelyn. Is Carol here yet?"

"Nation, you know better than that. The rest of the guys are downstairs. When are you leaving today?"

"In a few hours."

"Oh, so you won't stay for supper?"

"No, but thank you." I walked downstairs. Robert, John, Brian, and Rose were all ready down there. I sat in my usual seat, the armchair, and almost immediately, John came down to sit beside me.

"Hudson, if you try anything, I will have to kill you."

"Little Bisexual is cute huh?"

"Shut up, Rose."

"The little Trannys are vicious."

"I still don't believe it. Tranny means you are men dressed as women."

"Well we can prove that..." Brian tried to reach down Rose's shirt.

"Pervert!"

"We are girls. We, I guess, are what you earthlings call aliens."

"Interesting. Do people happen to screw their brother on your planet too, Rose?"

"I'm sure they do. They just haven't come out yet." She smiled reassuringly at me.

"So what planet are you guys from," Robert said, taking a draw off his joint.

"Bisexual."

"Homosexual."

"Hot!" He tried to high five Rose, but she just looked at him.

"Shut up Schmidt."

"If you guys kiss, I won't make you get high tonight. Either of you."

"You want to do it?" She raised her eyebrows at me.

"Sure, I guess. I was going to have to marry my cousin..." She walked over and pecked me on the lips.

"So when are you guys going to kiss?"

"Really. That was a grandmum kiss."

"Okay!" We kissed a little longer this time. "Happy?"

"Very." Robert just grinned at us, and Brian looked like he was about to die laughing at the expression on John's face. After about thirty seconds of sitting there, Carol walked in.

"Hey, I'm _so_ sorry I'm late, but I had to get Ann home from the primary school, and..." She looked at everyone. "What just happened?" She probably had the strongest accent.

"Well, that depends. You three could get in the bathtub and wrestle, and we could say nothing about it. Or, we tell you about the moment they just shared."

"I would prefer if you just told me about it, not really in the mood to get in the tub. Maybe later with you, Brian."

"All right!"

"Schmidt, if you don't shut up-"

"What? You'll get the rest of the Homos after us?"

"I'm not going to put up with this for much longer!"

"Why don't you get your new lesbian lover to deal with it, she's so strong!" Robert started to join in.

"That is enough you guys..." Carol looked like she was about to fray apart, she didn't like it when people fought.

"Or does Rose have a - a brother who she likes to play with too?" Even Brian started in on it.

"More like a sister!" They laughed, as Rose started crying and rushed out the door.

"God..." Carol ran out the door after her.

"You guys should be ashamed of yourself. Do you know how hard it is not even being able to look at your partner without being screamed at? Do you know how much prejudice I would get, if I came out? I don't have a sister, I'm straight, but they don't approve if you're with a family member!" I was up in Robert's face now. John had just cracked open a beer, but I was to center in Robert.

"I'm sure we could handle this in a different way." Brian put his hands on my shoulder. "Go kiss on Rose a little and make up." I turned around swiftly and kneed him in the bollucks, grabbed my bag, and turned around at the door.

"I'm going to find Rose." I stormed out, and found Rose leaning up against the garage, sobbing. "Honey, come here!" I got down on my knees and hugged her. "Do you want to come to my house? We have a phone where you can call home." She nodded. "Okay. Carol. Go kick them the hell out of your house." She nodded her head quickly, and ran back down. I got Rose up, and we walked the five minute walk to the house. I burst through the door, half dragging her. "Elizabeth? Could you get her the phone? She needs to call Homosexual."

"Oh, okay. This is Rose, right?" She nodded. Elizabeth ran to get the phone, and I heard some thunder crack, and we both jumped.

"Poor Carol. She'll have to run here in the rain." Rose just nodded. "I'll go get some clothes out for her." I ran into out room, got some undergarments, a crop top, and some bell bottoms out. I walked back into the kitchen, and Rose was whimpering on the phone. Nell was doing some of her work at the table. "Wow. What kind of work did they give you?"

"Not much. I just have to fill this thing out about me. What's with your friend?"

"People were making fun of her."

"Do you have work?"

"Yeah. I have to try to figure out my tick."

"Oh yeah. You go to that weird government school."

"Yeah."

"Why were they making fun of her?"

"It was Earthlings, not Trannys."

"Oh... Yeah, we're harsh sometimes."

A/N I own nothing, like Life Could Be a Dream. Today's thought to ponder: In The Brad and Janet Show script, Bert is Scotty. On the Shock Treatment script, it's Bert, and in the movie, it's Bert. Scotty is revealed not to need a wheelchair, Bert isn't blind. So, in the movie, what is the song Shock Treatment about? I mean, in the other two scripts, Bert gets a few volts. What does he get in the movie? A light shined in his face.


	6. Chapter 6

I jumped and screached out. "It's thunder, Nation. And it's not even dark." Carol kicked the guys out, and headed over to my house in the rain. Rose had hung up the phone.

"I still don't like it."

"You don't have a sun."

"But it's scary here."

"Why? I happen to find some of those photographs scarier than anything here."

"You get used to the transvestites. They're actually really good company." Rose was sniffling over a cup of coffee.

"Well, there is spiders here... And snakes... And normal people like Hudson and Schmidt."

"I can agree with the last two. I'm really sorry about that..."

"It's not like you can control them."

"I'll be trying my hardest to." I laughed a little, even Rose smiled, when we felt the transducer. I nodded and made my way to the bathroom.

"Cosmo, honey, before you freak out, I have some of my friends over, one is a Tranny, one's not. Okay?"

"Okay..." He put his bags in our room, and walked out with his arm around me.

"I assume this is your brother, Nation?"

"Yes... Cosmo McKinley."

"Carol Vance. This is Rose... She won't tell us her surname. She won't really talk today, because she was made fun of by Earthlings."

"Homosexual." I piped up.

"Oh, homosexual. Some people say it is the most beautiful planet in Transylvania."

"Not like Bisexual. All it is is housing. No scenery."

"Hmm..." She looked thoughtful, and Carol just looked weird.

"Nation, I love you, but I think I'm going to skip dinner tonight, I'm tired. But on the bright side, from the two extra grades I skipped, I got to go to a special college the last few years, and I learned today that counts as _four _years!" All children from Transylvania have skipped the fifth through eighth grade. So, technically, you go from fourth to ninth grade. You finish school, and then you go to a special school to learn about your tick. But that suits me just fine- less paperwork.

"Only five more!" I jumped up, kissed him, and sat back down.

"Technically, only two and a half." He walked to our room. We giggled on a few minutes more about my relationship, about Carol's, and about how Rose was crushing on her neighbor, before Rose got sent to England and the other girl got sent to the US. It was dark, not a single street light was on, and that made it really creepy.

There was a beating on the door. "Carol?"

She rolled her eyes, walked over to the door, revealing a Brian with roses, and an ice pack on his groin. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my laughter. "What?"

"I came here to give you these roses to apologize. Even though it would be really cool if you kissed Nation or Rose, you don't have to."

_"Thank you." _She practically growled. "But I'm comforting my friends. You know, the one you tried to reach down her shirt, and the one you made fun of for being with her brother."

"I can fix one of those thinks right now. Nation, is your brother here?"

"Yeah..." I took a deep breath, ran to our room, got Cosmo, and ran back.

"Now what's your name?"

"Cosmo." They looked each other up and down.

"Well, Cosmo, some of my friends and I have been making fun of your sister for being with you. I am very sorry, as you can see you sister has taken means into her own hands..." He gestured towards the ice pack and I leaned my head back laughing. "But I will assure you that I will not make fun of your sister again. However she is still free to kiss Rose or Carol here..." Carol hit him in the ribs."Oww!"

"I am very glad to hear an apology, I'm sure this means a lot to Nation too, however, I will have to hire a hitman if you do it again."

"May I ask you something? If you hired a hitman from your planet, would it be a real man, a man dressed as a woman, or a woman dressed like a man?"

"My god Brian..."

"No, it's a valid question. Our planet would most likely be a man, you would need to ask someone from Transexual or Transgender."

"Interesting..."

"So, Brian, are you going to wait until we have to kick you in the arse to get out the door, or are you going to get out now?"

"Why can't I stay?"

"It's a girls night."

"Why is he here?"

"He lives here."

"Well if he's here why can't I be?"

"He makes a good point." I looked at Carol.

"You really want him here, Nation?"

"Sure. Maybe we can dress him up. He'd be a good Tranny. He'd be pretty." I spun him around.

"O-Okay..."

"I just don't think I'm tall enough for him to fit into some of my dresses... What cup size are you?"

"Am I supposed to know?"

"Well, yeah! Here, I can see if anything fits." I grabbed his hand, and Carol tagged along. "So, are you familiar with fishnet stockings?"

"Yeah. They're hot."

"It's nice that you think that, because you are going to wear them." I smiled at him.

"What!"

"It's the least you can do for me, you made fun of me!" Is stuck my lip out.

"Fine..."

"Now, from what I have that I think will fit you, do you like lace or silk?"

"The difference?"

"Just pick silk Nat."

"So, you put these on, and then put this on over it. Okay?"

"Okay..." I turned my head while Carol helped him.

"You can turn around now." It was a sight, but at least the bottom half looked good in drag.

"Perfect. Now, I think we might go with corset, since you have relatively small breasts. Or..." I ran over to Nell's drawer. "Try this on." He did, and the last setting fit around his body. "Now the makeup."

I sat him down on the bed, and with the help, had his eyes, and lipstick done in ten minutes, the entire production his face took a grand total of fifteen. "Are you guys done?"

"Yeah..." I fixed a smudge. "Now, heels. I think these two will fit, but try them on." He did and they both fit.

"How did you get men's size shoes?"

"Easy. Your cousin sends shoes in spite of her master."

"Okay... I like these." He grinned giddily.

"Slow down..."

"Well, it's your fault. This actually feels good against my skin."

I leaned into Carol. "I think I turned your boyfriend into a queen."

We walked out of the room to a very stunned Elizabeth, a laughing Rose, a staring Cosmo, and Nell, looking him up and down. "Is that my bra?"

"Maybe!"

"He looks nice." Rose smiled.

"It's nice, that when you finally talk, you talk about a guy in drag."

"Well, I might talk to him if he's dressed like that all the time."

"You could have a pretty friend, if you are a drag queen. How does that sound Schmidt?"

"How about I just keep the panties? They're comfortable."

"Get your own panties!"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, and got the food. "How many of you are staying for dinner?"

"Everyone."

"That's not much help."

"Okay... Five."

"Counting me?"

"Six, then." We ate a Tranyslvanian dish, Carol and Brian loved it. I finished right after Nell, as usual, and started to make conversation. "You need a name."

"What?"

"Like a stripper name. Do you think the Frank-N-Furter was a real name? No. You need one."

"Brian is fine."

"A lady named Brian."

"It's not like I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life. I dressed up like this as an apology, and figured out I liked the panties. So what?"

"You realize what you just said, right?"

"It's a little weird, so?"

"A little weird, honey, you're a drag queen as of right now."

"I am not!"

"You are in fishnets, panties, a bra, and makeup."

"So?"

"I'm going to have to kill you now, Nation." Someone knocked on the door.

"Oh, don't worry. It will get better." I walked over to the door, and stepped outside. "You made fun of Rose and I, right? Well, I have someone else."

"Is that why you called us here?"

"Yes. But it is great, let me assure you. I give you..." I opened the door. "Brian!" Their mouths dropped.

"God!" He took the end of the tablecloth to cover himself up. They all started laughing.

"Who got him to do this!"

I raised my hand, and so did Carol. "You two deserve major props. Anything you want, you can have it!"

"I want you to stop making fun of me for sleeping with my brother, and making fun of Rose for being a lesbian!"

"Okay. We can do it!" They were almost all on the floor laughing.

"Now wait... He can dress up like this and you laugh, but when I do it I get chased?"

"Because Brian makes a 'purddy' girl, John."

"Any man would be lucky to have him."

"Damn right they would. I'm pretty." I put my head in my hands, and Cosmo wrapped his arm around my waist.

A/N I own nothing. I have almost convinced my boyfriend to be Riff Raff. We're working on it. Today's thought to ponder: When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N I took a break during this. You want to know why? Because fucking Ratatoulille was on. LE FESTIN HERE I COME! Dreams are to lovers, as wine is to friends. Carried through lifetimes, and spilled now and then. I love it! And you know what I figured out? Le Festin is played more then in the credits. Instrumental, when he's in the car the bada diddle badabadada part is played.

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When I graduated, I was still in Carol's basement. Now, I wouldn't say I had become addicted, but it became almost a daily thing. Other than Brian becoming a little more feminine, nothing changed. The days were approaching quickly when I would have to graduate from the mentor program. It's not a big celebration. They really just say you pass or fail, and get kicked out.

"Another day in the basement, another day wasted."

We laughed and clicked the beers together. "And, here's to Nation, who I hope will have a life after this. Get out from here man!"

"Thanks..." I sipped some. Mrs. Vance came down.

"You guys going to eat here?"

"No mum."

"Okay... Have fun... But not _too_ much." She laughed awkwardly as she walked up the stairs.

"Where should we go?"

"We can go anywhere, it's your day. As long as you know, pay for everyone's meal."

"How about we go pet store, smoke up the bathroom, and just eat the dog treats again."

"That is the worst idea you have ever had, Schmidt."

"You got a better idea, Nation?"

"No..." I laughed.

"Okay. How about I go get some sandwich shit upstairs, while you guys go get in the van."

"Okay..." Carol walked upstairs as we got in the van. She got the stuff, and we drove to the store.

We smoked up the bathroom, and stayed at the pet store for a while. I saw someone drive up. "Looks like Cosmo came here to get you." I started laughing, and the others started too.

"Nation?"

"Shh! If we're quiet, he can't hear us!" We started laughing again, and he came into the bathroom.

"Nation! You realize you can get arrested for this, right!"

"And you realize you can get busted too? For being such a... Uh... A something." I started laughing at Rose.

"Try it. Come'n. Drop your balls, which we all know you don't have, and try some." I poked his legs.

"Nation, come on. Let's go."

"NO! I'm staying here, with the people who like fun. This is my going away party."

"Well, I'm sorry to crash it, but we have to go!"

"I don't wanna go to Germany!"

"We aren't going for a little while."

"Okay. Stay here for a while. Play with the mice. Something, while I celebrate."

"Nation." I stood up quickly, kissed him on the lips, stuck my tongue in his mouth, and sat back down. "I'll go..." We laughed as he walked out.

We started talking. "We never remember a bloody thing we say..."

"Shut up. We never will. But, we should take advantage of this last day opportunity. We should play a game."

"Like what?"

"Truth... Or dare."

"Okay. I go first."

"Nation. Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Does Cosmo have man parts?"

"I think. COSMO! SHOW US YOUR GENITALS!" They laughed. "Okay. John. Truth or dare."

"Dare."

"Get naked." He refused, but finally did it. "Your new name is tiny."

"Whatever... Rose. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." We thought for a moment.

"Kiss... Carol." She did.

"Robert. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who was your first kiss?"

"That weird girl last year. Brian truth or da-"

"Nation. She needs us home now."

"I will go if you carry me out." He picked me up, and I screamed. "LET ME GO! COSMO!" I tried to chew through his arm, and he put me in the front seat of his car. "I hate you."

"Nation..."

"I really do hate you. That is my way of having fun and letting go, and it was even a party for _me_."

"Nation, I'm sorry, but I don't like you around them."

"Well they don't like you either..." I grumbled.

"Honey."

"Don't 'honey' me. I can't stand it anymore."

We were in front of the house, we just didn't get out. "What?"

"I... Can't stand it anymore. You're uptight, you have no sense of humor, you take everything so seriously, you don't have fun, I never really even see you! I can't do this anymore." I walked out of the car, and stormed into our room. He chased after me. "GO AWAY COSMO!"

"I guess I'll sleep on the couch tonight..." Nell walked over to me, and I explained what happened. At about three in the morning, I walked out. As usual, once it wore off, I remembered nothing. I yawned, and headed to get a glass of water. I turned around, and saw Cosmo.

"Cosmo!" I shook him. "Why aren't you in bed?"

He got up. "You locked me out!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did."

"Whatever." I kissed him. "Come back to bed when you feel like it." I laughed, and headed back to the room. I don't remember when he came back to bed, but I woke up and he was in the bed with me.

I woke up, headed into the kitchen, and got some clothes out of the bags by the door. We were going to Germany today. At noon, I was dressed, well fed, and looking at my passport. "Cosmo?"

"Yes?"

"Why is my name Nation Harding?"

"Because it's required for Tranyslvanians on Earth. You have to change names when you move to a new country."

"That's stupid."

"But, it's the law."

"And we always have to obey the laws..." I scowled.

"That's right." He kissed my forehead. We said goodbye to Nell, and headed down the road. I made a quick stop first.

"Guys, I'm leaving today." I was in the basement.

"I'm really going to miss you." I was passed from arm to arm, until I was done. I headed upstairs to Mrs. Vance.

"Hey, I packed you some snacks for the road. Come visit us again." She laughed, and kissed my cheek. "Bye. Mr. Vance is probably in the living room."

I walked in. "Hey Mr. Vance. I'm leaving today."

"Good for you."

"Do you not have something to say to me?"

"If you meet anyone while drunk, please don't get pregnant."

"Thank you." I smiled, and hugged his chair. "Tell Carol my number if she misses me. Evelyn has it." He smiled, and continued watching the game. I walked out the door, after shouting one more goodbye down the stairs, I got into the car, and we drove to the airport.

A/N I own nothing. Today's thought to ponder: Screw this. On Reddit today, we found out the overly obsessed girlfriend is a Dentonite, and works... Well I don't want to give that away... Join Reddit. It's on her shirt. Together, we can form a giant band of people going to Denton, (which we could pass off as something Rocky related,) and meet her. **Today's _real _thought to ponder:** A journey of a thousand miles starts from beneath one's feet. - Lao Tzu.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER SEVEN IS FROM ANOTHER FICTION OF MINE, **

**IT HAS BEEN REPLACED, READ THAT FIRST.**

A/N I'm over at a friends house today, so this will get really. Fucking. Random. We just walked outside in the dark, the stars and bugs were glowing so pretty, I had to write it in. But, the fate of this chapter depends on what movie we watch. **Edit: **A million years later, (okay, a few months later,) we watched The Hangover. Pretty nice, it was the first time I watched it. I almost forgot about today being Thurday, honestly. And, two Thursdays after this, you will hear me complain. Why? School starts again on the eighth. Yay? The best teacher got moved down... Fucking sucks. He was the cool teacher too! He played guitar, and everyone thought he smoked pot in his car. My definitions of "cool" are misguided.

I now have a new obsession: The Stripper. Another reason why anyone, anywhere, should get to marry Richard. I do think I saw earlier that New Zealand was trying to legalize same sex marriage. Good for them! Of course, there has been _so _much about Chick-Fil-A that I could of just imagined it. Favorite lyric: **You make me feel like a man of steel, baby, you give me a hard on.** I sent the lyrics to my friend. She didn't respond.

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We had gone to Germany, and Cosmo had found an apartment with a transducer, so his deal with the college had been sorted out, and he knew German. I couldn't even greet someone properly. But, the apartment was nice, it was roomy, and late at night, we would sit outside, listen to the radio, and watch the stars.

"There's a lot out there."

"There's even more, you just can't see them."

"Or, you could just agree with me like a good, dumb big brother." He laughed at me. "Seriously. Just go, 'hmm' when I say something. Just agree, and keep your smart to yourself." He laughed more.

"I'll try." We laughed and chatted on and on, for about fourteen more songs, until I got tired. "Come on. Let's get you to bed."

"I'm eighteen! I can stay out longer."

"Well, I don't want to. Let's just go up to the room."

"Cosmo!" I groaned. He picked me and the blanket up, and held me down so I could get the radio. "How do you keep picking me up?"

"I'm stronger."

"Yeah right." I yawned and smiled up at him. He rolled his eyes, kissed me, and headed up to our three room apartment. He put me down on the bed, and went to the bathroom to wash up. When he came out, I was in the exact same spot. "Read to me."

"What?"

"Am I not special like Nell? Read to me. Or sing. Whatever you don't mind." He sighed, and started to quote Madeline. It was like that for weeks, until we were low on funds.

"I should get a job."

"Why can't I?"

"You can't speak German."

"I'll learn."

"You can do that, and I will go apply for a job."

"Fine. I will. And I will be speaking German like a professional... German..." My face twisted, and he laughed.

"While you do that, I'm going to that restaurant down the street."

"Fine!" I kissed him, and let him go. I walked over to the phone, and dialed Johan. "Hey. Cosmo won't let me get a job until I can speak German."

"And you want me to tutor you?"

"PLEASE! I really want a job!"

"Okay. I'll go over to your place..."

"Thank you so much!"

I waited an hour, and there was a knock at my door. "Nation?"

"Yeah, it's open!" He gave me an hour lesson, until Cosmo got home. "Get out! Get out! I can't let Cosmo see..." I shoved him out, and hid my notes. This went on and on for about three months, and I was pretty fluent in German. Well, I could hear it and understand what it meant, I couldn't speak it that well. So, I decided that I wanted to learn another language. I had English down, German, Cosmo and I both spoke French, Italian, Swiss, and Greek. So, he taught me Hebrew, and that one was harder, taking almost four months. We hung out more and more after that, for about four months. We were hanging out one day, and I didn't even notice Cosmo, as I was a little drunk. We were chatting on and on, until he came up to the apartment. I froze. "Co- Cosmo."

"Is this your tutor?"

"Yeah, he is bu-"

"You told me your tutor was female."

"I know I did, but that's only because I know you get jealous, and I didn't want you to think I was cheating on you..."

"Wait... You said he was your brother..."

"This really isn't the time to explain..."

"Oh so you guys..." He made a circle and put his index finger through it. Cosmo hit him over the head with his bag, knocking him out.

"COSMO!"

"Nation, I did what I did, I can't reverse it, I'm jealous, I know." He rolled his eyes.

"It's not fair to knock the guy out!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, why would yo-"

"No. I think I didn't knock him out. It doesn't look like he's breathing."

"Oh my god!" I kneeled down next to him. "Johan? Come on!" I put my ear down to his mouth, and checked his pulse. "He's... He's dead. _You killed him._ You fucking killed my friend!"

"Nation... Don't curse..."

"Yeah, like THAT'S THE BIG ISSUE! What are we going to do?"

"Dispose of him, and move."

"WHERE?"

"To somewhere... Like South Africa."

"I MEANT THE BODY!"

"Oh, well, we still have some of that acid."

"That's too dangerous."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"No..."

"Then just let me do it."

"Okay... Be careful. Don't get it on you."

"I won't. Love you."

"Whatever. Just get rid of the body. I'll get the blank passports." In a matter of hours, I had our names changed to Cosmo and Nation Hoover. He came back in. "Is he gone?"

"Liquidated, in a drain."

"Good." I rubbed the blood off the floor, and shined a black light on the floor, and the walls. "It's gone. He's gone."

"I'm sorry." He hugged me from behind. "I really am. I just got so jealous..."

"You don't just kill someone when you are."

"I guess you're right..."

"I know I am. Did you save some of him?"

"No..."

"Damn! Where did you pour him down?"

"The drain out back."

"Okay." I walked outside, picked some flowers from the garden, and put them in the drain. "I'm sorry this had to happen." I walked back inside, and started to pack. After two days, we had packed, talked to the landlord, and was on a plane to South Africa.

A/N I own nothing. Today's thought to ponder: They say that, joking apart, dying's an art. It takes a lifetime to perfect it. (This was written in on 7/26/2012. I came in to check that this one had an A/N, and I'm listening to this song, it made me think, so I put it in. Then, I re-read that chapter, and I laughed. I killed someone in this chapter.)


	9. Chapter 9

We had made our way to South Africa, and found a cute little house in Port Elizabeth. We took a month to settle down, and I got several babysitting gigs, taking care of the neighbor's children, pets, whatever.

One day, I had the Theron kids over, Jewel and Jess, and I had a knock on the door. I walked over, and opened it. "Nell! How are you?"

I hugged her. "Um... Not good... Mum kicked me out."

"What? Why!"

"Well, we got in a big fight, and she packed my bags, told me you guy's address, and sent me on the plane."

"Okay, come come... We have three bedrooms, you can stay in one of the extra ones. This is Jewel and Jess, I'm babysitting an-"

"I'm not a baby. I'm a big girl."

"Me too!"

"Okay, I'm big girl sitting, and they're going to be here for another hour. Cosmo gets home in about forty-five minutes."

"Okay... Which room can I have?"

"Any one of those two."

"Okay." She walked into the nearest one, and put down her bags. "So, what do Cosmo and you usually do?" I raised my eyebrows. "Ew..."

"Well, I usually babysit, he works in some office, and then once the kids are home, we do what you're thinking of. Now, why did your mum send you here again?"

"Like I said, we had a big fight, it's been going on for weeks, and she got the papers yesterday, so she sent me to you guys."

"Papers?"

"Oh, yeah." She ducked into her room, came back out, and handed me some papers. "Nell? Are these what I think they are?"

"Aye."

"Custody papers! Elizabeth wants us to adopt you!"

"It's not necessarily that... It's more like renting me, for three more years."

"I guess I could talk to your mum... I do want to ask one question. What was the fight about?" I ran out of breath at the end, and she sighed.

"She got new mentoring people, and I let it slip that we weren't real Transylvanians. So, bloodbath between mum and I, scaring the girl shitless, she finally calls her home planet, the officials tell mum she can't be a mentor, gets the papers, and then, out of rage, sends me here."

"Wow. So... Is that why you didn't go to the mentor?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll go call Elizabeth." One, horrible, long phone call later, I had it settled out with Elizabeth. Cosmo came home almost as soon as I got off the phone, and saw Nell on the couch.

"Hello Nell, what a surprise to see you here..."

"Two things, Cosmo. One, with the arrival of Nell, I couldn't fix dinner." He sat down beside me, and kissed my cheek.

"That's not that ba-"

"And we have to adopt Nell."

He froze. "What?"

"Elizabeth kicked her out, she trusted us the most, she sent her to us!"

"Where would she go to school?"

"I can drop out. I was never really head of the class."

"Okay. What will Nation and I do about date night?"

"I guess she could go to the dinner across the street from where we usually go."

"If you show me where to go, I will."

"Okay. What abou-"

"COSMO! If we were ever to have kids, would you ask all these questions?"

"Yes, because you shouldn't have a kid on the run!"

"On the run?"

"Cosmo killed a man."

"Do have to say it like that?"

"Yes! That's what happened!"

"Okay. You know what?"

"What?"

"Both of you! Are you guys going to become my legal guardians or not?"

I looked at Cosmo, and he rolled his eyes. "Yes." Nell and I both squealed, and hugged Cosmo. "UNDER the conditions that you will be raised as our daughter, and will be treated as such."

"Okay?" I hugged Nell.

"She put her stuff in her room, and Mrs. Theron picked up the kids while I was on the phone, and we're free for date night!"

"It's already Friday?"

"Yep! Nell, will you be joining us?"

"Nation..."

"I think she should come Cosmo!"

"Okay..." He shifted a box around in his coat pocket. Nell's jaw dropped.

"Nation? Can I see you in my room?"

"Sure..." She dragged me by the sleeve of the dress I was wearing. She shut her door, and gasped. "Cosmo's going to propose to you!"

"What? No he's not."

"Did you not see that box?"

"Maybe it was something like a necklace."

She held out her hand to me. "That box was shaped like this one's was."

"Who gave that to you?" I marveled at the engagement ring on her finger.

"Your friend John? We were dating, and he proposed, so I said yes, and the wedding's in a month!"

"John? How long have you two been dating?"

"About two years, why?"

"He's a man slut! While I was there, at least once a day, he would flirt with us!"

"I don't believe you! I'll call Carol, prove you wrong!"

Cosmo walked up to the door. "Are you girls ready?"

"Ten more minutes!"

"Okay..."

"Get something fancy on, I'll go get dressed." I walked out of the room, into our room, and put on a black dress, and some pearls. I did my makeup, and walked out.

"You look beautiful." He kissed me. "Is Nell coming?"

"Yeah. She'll be a little bumbed because I told her her fiancee was cheating on her."

"She's getting married?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Who would of thought the little girl you read Madline to every night would get married before us." He laughed awkwardly. Nell walked out, in a short, white dress, her hair done up with flowers in a soft crown, and heels.

"Wow. You look like you could be twenty something."

"Thank you. Where are we going?"

"Restaurant down the block. The car company knows tonight is out date night, they're usually here in about.." I looked at the clock. "Three minutes."

"You have this timed out, don't you?"

"Yeah." We waited two minutes until they drove up. "Early." We got in the car. "This is our cousin, Nell. Regular place."

The driver nodded, and drove us. "So, my names Ricky, Nell."

"Nice to meet you."

"Big ring."

"Yeah. Name's John. Think he's cheating."

"Men are scum, what can we say." Nell laughed. "How long will you be staying?"

"Well, my mum kicked me out, so Nation and Cosmo will be taking me in for a while."

"Shame." They talked on and on until we got to the restaurant. "Nine, at the coffee house?"

"You know it." Cosmo handed him the cash. "You tipped him more than you usually do."

"Well, he had to talk to Nell." She hit his side.

"Hey!" We walked in, and I spoke to Rachel, the girl at the podium.

"A seat for three this time."

"Nice. Who's this?"

"Our cousin, Nell."

"Have fun." She winked at Cosmo, shook his hand, and took the box. Nell smiled at me. Rachel lead us to our usual table, which is for a party of four, far away from the usual crowd.

"What was that all about?"

"Who knows?" He grinned at me, and Nell rolled her eyes. The waiter brought us our water, and took our orders.

"I'll be back out with your bread sticks." The waiter winked at Cosmo.

"You must look very good tonight."

"What?"

"Do you see all the people winking at you?" I smiled, while he looked like he was about to get hit by a bus.

The waiter came back out, and brought a basket of bread sticks. "Fresh out of the kitchen." He laughed, and walked away.

"I wonder which one I'll pick."

"_I'd_ go with the one with the engagement ring around it." She laughed at Cosmo.

"Wise decision, Nell."

Cosmo laughed now. "Was it really that obvious?"

"Please. We could see the box in your coat pocket." He laughed, and picked the bread stick up off the top, and slipped the ring off. He rubbed the oil off with his napkin. "Well, Nation McKinley," he got down on one knee, "would you be my wife?" I nodded, and our names came on over the speaker.

"Congratulations to Cosmo and Nation, who just got engaged. And to Cosmo, who tipped me to announce this over the PA to embarrass Nation. Many years of happiness, folks." The restaurant clapped, as I kissed him.

A/N I own nothing. Today's thought to ponder: Some people are so poor, they only have money.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N This is switching to Nell's POV. I'm sorry. I'm probably going to confuse myself. Thought of the day at the bottom.

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After dinner, we sat in a cafe for an hour, until Ricky showed up. "How'd it work out?"

"She said yes." Cosmo kissed Nation on the nose.

"Even he knew?"

"When you have a ring, you get excited, and people ask you." She laughed. I sat up front with Ricky again.

"So. How old are you?"

"I'm eighteen. You?"

"I'm fifteen."

"Shame."

"Why?"

"Because you are very pretty."

"Thank you." I looked down at the ring, and his eyes followed.

"Anything you want to discuss?"

"Well, I can't remember if I said this before, but he might be cheating on me, and with them getting engaged, I'm pretty lonely."

"That's right... How did they get engaged? Aren't they related? Brother and sister, right?"

"Um... Yeah."

"I don't really know how many people they've told."

"Not many. How d'you figure out?"

"They were drunk, called each other brother and sister, I thought it was just them being weird, like they always are. But then, they called themselves that entirely sober, and looked at me to see if I caught them. So, I of course, laughed it off. Love is love." I smiled, him reminding me of my real cousin, Columbia.

"Yeah, it is." I chuckled. "So, you have their number, right?"

"Yeah."

"Give me a call sometime. I'll most likely be there." He dropped us off, and I retired to my room. Where I found out you can hear what's going on in the other room.

"Cosmo, do we have to use a rubber tonight?"

"Yes, we do. Do you want two children running around?"

"Twins?"

"Then three, counting Nell."

"Oh come on, she can take care of herself."

"I had to read Madeline to her up until she was fourteen."

"She can fix food, and maybe help with the kids I babysit. I see no harm in it!" I rolled over, and shoved a pillow over my head. They finally started screaming, or should I say, _Cosmo_ finally started screaming, and I could only take about five minutes. I got up, put my robe over my tank top and sweatpants, and knocked on their door.

Nation opened it. "Nation, as much as I love you trying for children, could you be a little more quiet?" I noticed the white on the corner of her mouth. "And_ that's_ not the way to do it." I pulled out a cloth from my robe, and wiped it off. Her face almost turned as red as her nails, while Cosmo laughed. "I wouldn't be so sure of myself, screamer!" That shut him up, and started Nation laughing.

"We'll be quiet."

"Nation, just between you and me... Noise complaints?"

"None here. A lot back in Germany."

"Nice. Have fun, but be quiet." She rolled her eyes, and we both went back in our rooms. I had a little more quiet, having to remember them every couple days for two months. I had called Carol, she had confirmed John was cheating, and we broke up. I took the diamond out of the ring, and mailed the band back to him.

One day, near the end of the third month, Cosmo burst is, after he looked like he was running. "Cosmo, honey, what's wrong?"

"No time, just pack." He ducked into their room, and I walked into mine, and got all my clothes out of my wardrobe, and into the bags I came there with. I sat down on my bed, then got up, and got my makeup, and got Nation's gown out of my closet, we had picked it out soon after they got engaged. It was beautiful, strapless, white, with cream beads and pearls going down the front. Her cousin, Magenta, wanted her to have red or black on it, but Nation loved this one. I stroked the top of the bag, and Nation walked in.

"You okay hon?" I looked up.

"No, um... I'm fine. I just can't believe he was cheating."

"I know! But don't worry, I erm... Worked something out with Carol."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. I just... Planned to have a master prank."

"Sandwich punch?"

"Sandwich punch?"

"If you get up from where you are eating, you have to put something on your sandwich, or whoever you're with get's to punch it."

"Okay... No."

"Then what?"

"Well, you know how we can warp time here and there? Go into the future, go into the past?" I nodded. "Well, we went into the future, got some photo editing software, edited John's body into the pictures with Brian in drag, and put John in drag too."

"Cool! Can I see the picture?"

"Sure." She walked into her room, and came back out with a frame. "I was going to wait until your birthday, but here." She handed a picture of them to me, and I laughed.

"So, what did Cosmo do?"

"He won't say. I think they may of found his dirty work back in Germany, and we needed to go again. What's your name on your passport?"

"Nell Ansalong..."

"Good. And you won't have to change your name, daughter." We both smiled.

"Who are you guys going to be?"

"Coolidge."

"Where are all of these weird names coming from?"

"America."

"Okay. Why?"

"I don't know. Magenta seems to like it over there, so I picked out a few common names. So, when Cosmo said to pack up, I knew which name I was going to use, and now we are the Coolidge-es..."

"Okay? Have fun with that."

She laughed a little, and looked at me. "So, you have the dress, right?"

"No, I'm sitting here stroking an empty garment bag. What do you think?" I smiled up at her.

"Well, I'm sorry! It's just so pretty!"

"I know it is, but you need to let go a little. Relax. It's not like the dress is your child."

"She's like my child."

"Okay. Who would you save first in a fire, me, or... Her?"

"That's a good point. Wear the dress at all times."

"What?"

"Okay. Just guard it with your life."

"It's nice you care so much about your daughter."

A/N I own nothing. Today's thought to ponder: People who use it think marijuana should be legalized because it's natural. Not everything natural is good for you. You know what else is natural? BEARS.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: **Edit 8/10/12: OH MY GOD! Don't be upset, I didn't post this yesterday. School started on Wednesday, and as always, it was _super _hectic, and I completely forgot! There's a dance tonight, which is still been unconfirmed if I have a ride, and I hate my life right now... We sponsor the dance, and get to pick on all the young people. And my boyfriends best friend, who happens to me my ex, is going to be there, and he's really the only one that knows about my... Current... Shit. That's all it is. Shit. Confusing, very confusing, blind, SHIT. And now I have to online shop with one of my friends for another's friend's birthday gift... I need a nap._  
_**

**And now I've started to complain again. Sorry, enjoy the super sweet chapter!**

This is still Nell Ansalong's POV. I like writing her, because she is the Columbia of the group. But, this is mostly just going to be the wedding. Yay. I like weddings. And pickles. Can you tell I'm sleep deprived?

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We had gone to Brazil, in Rio. They had decided to get married there, but, like South Africa, after three months, Cosmo burst in and told us to pack. Nation decided she wanted to see Switzerland, so they became the Fillmores. After a full two weeks with no interruption from Cosmo, the wedding was on. My bride's maid dress was simple, I had turned seventeen, so Nation let me get shorter, cream dress. We were sitting down in the hotel room, and I drilled her on her vows. "Again."

"Really? This is the seventh time I've done them."

"Yes. And you missed a few words each time. Again."

She sighed. "From the moment I came home, to _this_ moment, looking into your eyes and seeing you now, not only as a brother, but a man too, I have always loved you. I promise to love you, laugh with you, cry with you and embrace every chapter that our future holds. My first love, you're every breath that I take and I want to share all my love with you. You are my brother, my sweetheart, the love of my life, my best friend and the man of my dreams. Because of Nell, we will always be a family, if you don't kick her out when she's legal, and because of who you are, Cosmo McKinley, is the reason why I'm completed. Just look how far we have come now, our love is fate. Our love is destiny, our love is everlasting. You make me smile when I'm sad, you make me laugh when you're in trouble. You kiss me when I'm cranky, and you were there with me, when I needed someone to hold. No words can express how much I love you, not only because you are the love of my life, but my hero too. We have shared many adventures, over-come so much, so look into my eyes and feel my heart beat now. Know in your heart, when we kiss each other good night each night and watch each other sleep and dream, that we are meant to be together. Simply to say... I love you."

"You got it word for word!"

"I didn't mess up the part about you?"

"NO!" I laughed, and ran over and hugged her. "What are his vows?"

"He won't let me see. You could probably sneak in the boy's room."

"Nah, it's not worth it." We laughed a little, until her cousin, Magenta, and one of her friends, Columbia, walked in with almost the entire breakfast bar. She looked like my cousin, had the same name even, but had short bright red hair.

"Holy shit, Magenta!"

"Columbia gets hungry."

"I do." She grabbed a towel out of the bathroom, laughed, and dumped all of the muffins on it. Magenta dumped her cookies on it.

"Ew! Just go shower!"

"We can do that..." Columbia started laughing, and Magenta put her arm around her.

"Really? I didn't know you cheated on Riffy."

"This isn't cheating. It's two friends, being friendly, screwing ever so often. What about you guys?"

"I don't think so. I'm engaged, getting married in a matter of hours, and, technically, she is a minor, and TECHNICALLY, I am her legal guardian."

"Whatever. Come on Collie." She laughed, and led her into the bathroom.

"Weird."

"You're one to talk! You've been sitting in that dress for hours."

"Okay. So, I've wanted to get married since I was seven."

"Yeah, we know. The big book over there explains that." She laughed that I had pointed out the one thing that held every single thing, and was going to be updated in a matter of hours.

"You should probably get dressed now."

"Probably." I got up, and walked over to the closet, which had all of our dresses hanging up. To make room, we had to take the ironing board out. It was propped up against the wall. I stepped out of Nation's view, and changed really quickly. Columbia and Magenta walked out, and got dressed. So, I drilled everyone on their speeches, Nation's vows, and what Magenta, who would marry them, would say. We snacked along the way, but Nation couldn't eat, and started to freak out. "Nation..." I lead her over to the big bed. "Sit down hon. What's wrong?"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?" She sighed. "Nerves."

"Okay. He proposed to you, why would he give you up? He admitted he wanted to be with you first, why would he give you up? _YOU_ HAVE _ME_!"

"Dammit Ansalong."

I hugged her. "It'll be all right. It's a pretty big deal, sure, but once you look into his eyes, you'll be home, and you won't even notice the audience, you won't even notice when I have to hit you to stop kissing him, you won't even notice when we have to pick you up and carry you away from him." She laughed a little.

"I hope."

"It will happen. And you'll have kids that are more obedient than me, and don't back talk you, _AND_ don't want to dress in tiny dresses." She laughed even more. "See."

"What?"

"You cheered up."

"I guess did. Thanks."

We helped Nation get the rest of everything done, hair, makeup, veil, and the rest of us got hair and makeup done, and Magenta had to leave to get ready, while Columbia and I stayed with Nation.

"You look so pretty!"

"Thank you." She smiled, and kept looking at herself in the mirror.

"Vows?"

"Memorized."

"Breath?" She breathed on me. "Teeth?" She opened her mouth. "Good. Garter?"

"Yeah."

"That's all I can think of."

"Are you wearing underwear?"

"Yes, Columbia. I am.''

"Good."

"Columbia, you're walking with that Frank guy, and Nell is walking with Riff Raff."

"Okay." We made our way down where we were supposed to be, Columbia locked arms with a man with makeup on, and I looked around for Riff Raff.

"I assume you are Nell?" I jumped, and turned around.

"Oh! Um, yes, I'm Nell. Riff Raff?"

"Yes." He linked or arms together, we waited for our cue, and walked out.

We went to either side of Magenta, and watched for Nation. And then, the ceremony was simple, and unique. And weird.

"Nation, please face Cosmo, and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life. These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams. These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within you. These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time. These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family. These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind. These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you."

I was tearing up, and I leaned over to Columbia, who was crying. "That's so sweet!"

"Cosmo, please hold Nation's hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life. These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go. These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back in the evenings after you've both had a long hard day. These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving. They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to have another child, that together you have created a new life. These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realized."

Columbia leaned over to me now. "Aw!"

"May these hands always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in your grace, rich in caring, and devoted in reaching for your perfection. May Cosmo and Nation see their four hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide."

Cosmo's vows made me start to cry, most likely because I heard Nation's a hundred times. "For a long time, there has not been anything in this world that I wanted more than to be with you and to be the reason you smile. Words aren't enough to begin to tell you how much I love you or how much I care, because nothing comes close to perfect when compared to you. Not a single day goes by that I don't think myself lucky. I always knew that one day an angel would come and steal my heart and here you are, I couldn't imagine anyone else in the world that I want to spend forever with. There is no other girl I will love as much as I love you, except for our future daughter. I will stand by you no matter what, I will be there holding your hand, and hold you when you cry through everything. I will be there with you, you won't have to go it alone. I believed that nice guys finished last, but now, I am an example of a nice guy finishing first for once in my life, you make me smile no matter what mood I'm in, you brighten my darkest day and always make any pain I am in go away, before today falling in love with you was the best thing that I have ever done , but now I can say I have done better. I can say the best thing I ever did was marry the girl of my dreams, I will love you forever and always."

"Nation. Do you take Cosmo to be your lawfully wedded husband, in richer or poorer, in sickness and health, as long as you both shall live?"

Nation couldn't speak. She finally squeaked out an "I do," and it was Cosmo's turn.

"Cosmo. Do you take Nation to be your lawfully wedded husband, in richer or poorer, in sickness and health, as long as you both shall live?"

Cosmo just smiled like an idiot. "I do."

"You may kiss the bride." Magenta squeaked, as they kissed, and then the rest of the girls, and some of the guys squeaked.

A/N I own nothing. Today's thought to ponder. "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N It's... 12:25 in the morning. I'm about to pass the fuck out. My computer freaked out, and I couldn't post anything. Meow. Oh yeah, Made In Japan came on today. I loved it! Almost a cute twincest moment. :) GOD! YOU SEE WHAT THIS DOES TO ME! YOU SEE! Oh yeah, I'm going to a family reunion tomorrow. So my SIU chapter... Uhh... Ten? I think? Will be about something like that, or it will be a Rocky oneshot... I can see my fucked up mind working now... And I want to point out... Two favorites to either me or my twincest story, within ten minutes. That's cool. :)

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They didn't do the dance like Magenta wanted, but they were really loud. REALLY loud. We were at another restaurant, when some guy in the corner with sunglasses kept passing by us. "Who is that?"

Cosmo shifted in his seat. Nation sipped her coffee. "I don't know." We stopped him about the fifth time he passed by us, and he looked amused.

"Hello, who are you?"

"Allow me to introduce myself, you must of seen me looking at you guys. I'm Burt Shnick. I have a small television show running now, but its a pretty big failure. Do any of you know about psychology?"

"I have a doctorate, they both have masters, Burt." Cosmo glared at him.

"Why?"

"Well..."

"Nation. This is my brother, Cosmo, and our daughter, Nell."

"Very nice to meet you three. Would you be interested in the job?"

I jumped up. "I could be an actress? Really!"

"If they agree to do it too."

Nation spoke up before Cosmo could say anything. "We would love to!"

"Great. Here, I'll cover your bill, come down to the studio with me." He payed for our food, and he walked down to a big television studio. "Mary! I have our new doctors here, Cosmo, Nation, and Nell."

"Hello." A lady in a white dress, with the medical nurse symbol thing on it, shook our hands. "What are your surnames?"

"Mine is..." I looked at them. "Fillmore."

"Ours is Fillmore too."

"Good."

"Cosmo and Nation are related, Mary. If it is okay with all of them, I think they should be the doctors, and Ansalong here a nurse."

She circled around us, like a wolf around her prey. "How short?"

"Anything, preferably above mid thigh."

"Good." She smiled. "Nation?"

"Preferably knee length."

"Really? I couldn't guess." She growled a little. "You guys are going to look really weird. But, we can work that out. Burt here can show you to your rooms."

"Right this way!" He used his stick to tap down a hall, and we had five different rooms. "Okay. This room is Nation's, this room is Cosmo's, this one in mine, Nell's, and one of our other nurses has the last one."

Cosmo leaned over to us. "So I guess renting the apartment here was just pointless." I laughed, and got settled into my room, when I heard a knock.

"Come in!" I turned around. "Ricky?"

"Hey! I didn't know you were the new nurse? Are Cosmo and Nation here too?"

"Yeah! They got married a few days ago."

"Well, I wasn't invited, was I?" I smiled.

"When did you get here from South Africa?"

"Well, when you guys fled the country, I figured I would go with you, to surprise you, and Nation had always talked abut Switzerland, so I came here."

"But we went to Brazil."

"That clears up a lot."

I laughed. "When did you start to work here?"

"Well, I was sitting in that restaurant down the street, Burt said I was right, and he brought me down here."

"Interesting." I spent most of my time with Ricky, off and on for about a month, until one night, Nation burst into my room crying, holding a bottle of tequila.

"Cosmo's an ass."

"What's new?" She glared at me. "I'm sorry, what's wrong?"

"He's an ass! All he does is read the script, and work. You know what, he hasn't even kissed me since we moved here!"

"Oh my god."

"I know! We're freaking married! If we stay here for long, our marriage is just going to disappear. I should kiss Burt in front of him!" I laughed, and pretty soon, we were both drunk, but she was drunker than me. She went and got us some coffee, and I was on the bed, waiting for her. She put her and my coffee down on the nightstand, and just looked at me for a second. Before I even knew it, she was on top of me, kissing me.

And I didn't push her off. I just... Enjoyed it. I could taste the alcohol and coffee on her breath, and I remember it looked like she was getting undressed, but after that it gets fuzzy... And I don't remember it. I remember waking up.

I have my alarm set for an hour before Burt comes and wakes us up, and it felt like a bullet to the brain. "Oh my god!" I groaned, and got up. I slipped on my robe, went to the bathroom and got dressed, brushed my teeth, went back in my room, and screeched. Luckily, those walls were soundproof, so no one could hear me. "Nation!" She bolted up, and she was topless.

"Oh my god... What did we do?"

"I hope nothing... I remember you kissed me, and then it all goes..." I looked at her with the same amount of fear in my eyes she had in hers. "We've got to tell Cosmo."

"No! Please... Just... Don't? As a friend?"

"We need to tell him!"

"I didn't think it would have to come to this, but I am technically your mother, and I demand you not tell him!"

"Too late!" I stormed out of my room, down the hall, to Cosmo's room, and beat on the door.

He yawned. "Come in..." I stormed in, and sat down on his bed.

"I need to talk to you."

"What about?" He sat up, and turned on the light. He realized I couldn't stand it, so he turned it back out, and looked for his glasses.

"I think Nation and I slept together last night."

"What! Why would you say that?"

"Because she kissed me, it went fuzzy, and the next thing we know, we were woken up by my alarm clock, and were both nude, AND she had lipstick smeared on her face."

"You have a little too..." He wiped it away with his robe. "Why did she come to you and not me?"

"She was feeling abandoned by you. You spend too much time on the show, and she said you two haven't kissed since you started working here."

"Yeah, because they think we're brother and sister."

"YOU ARE!"

"But we're not... _Normal_, Nell."

"I know. You guys know, Burt probably knows! But would it kill you to invite her to your room, or show up in her's?" Nation burst in.

"Okay. I couldn't find anything, I think you're still a virgin, but you should check." Cosmo and I just looked up at her. She blushed and straightened up. "Hello Cosmo." Cosmo just smiled like an idiot, like he always does, and walked slowly to Nation. He cupped her face, and kissed her passionately. Nation pulled away after a while. "Tell Burt we may be a while." Nation laughed as Cosmo led her to the bed. I didn't even want to hear them, so I knocked on Burt's door.

"Burt?"

"Come in!" I went into his room, and he was sitting on his bed, waiting for wakeup call. "You're up early."

"Well, I'm usually up, I just don't go out of my room."

"Why is today a special day?"

"I got drunk last night, woke up with Nation in my bed. I can't remember a thing." I laid down from where I was sitting beside him. "So now, Cosmo's a little mad."

"I would be too, if my little sister slept with someone."

"That's not really why he's mad."

"Why is he then?"

"Okay. But you can't tell another living soul."

"Okay."

"How can I trust you?"

"I'll tell you my secret. I'm not really blind." He pulled his glasses off.

"Okay. I won't tell that. Cosmo and Nation are brother and sister. But they're involved like a couple. A few days before you found us in the restaurant, they had just got married. You can ask Ricky about them."

"Hmm. I guess when we move, they should share a room."

"Move?"

"Yeah! The whole studio is moving to America, to Denton! The whole town fits into the audience, but it's broadcast all over. DTV?"

"Yeah, I've heard of that."

"Good! So, what are they doing?" I raised my eyebrows. "Oh. Okay, well, how long does it take them?"

"I think it's just a quickie, but I don't know."

"We can't really film much without them... We could work on you and Ricky. The audience loves it."

"Okay." At about noon, my eyes and mouth hurt from smiling so much. I walked into the break room, where Nation was fixing herself some food. "How are you!"

She turned around and smiled like Cosmo usually does. "I'm fantastic!" She jumped up and down. "Thank you so much!"

"So it didn't bother him?"

"I don't think so. If anything, it made it better."

"That's... A little creepy." She laughed. "Oh, I have something to tell you."

"Uh-huh?"

"I kind of told Burt about you guys."

"You what!"

"But, it gets better. He said that this company is moving to America, and you guys will get to share a room. He was completely cool with it."

"I've got to tell Cosmo..." She pushed the buzzer that goes to their office, and in a matter of minutes, he was in the break room. "Nell told Burt about us."

"You did what!"

"I told Burt about your guys' relationship."

"Why?"

"Because Nation told me that you guys might take a while, so I went into his room and-"

"YOU WENT INTO HIS ROOM!"

"Yeah... Why?"

"Just... Don't. Please." He took both Nation and my hands, and led us to the couch. "I never really told you why we left Rio, did I?" He chuckled awkwardly. "Well, I had met Burt in South Africa, and he was threatening us, so that was one reason why we went to Rio. And then, he found us, so he... Wow. You'd think it would be easier to say..."

"Say what honey?" Nation put her arm around him.

"He... You know..."

Nation's eyes widened. "Nell... Go to your room... Just... Not Burt's..."

"Okay..." I walked to my room, and waited until Nation called me back.

"Nell, honey," she put her hand on mine, "we don't want you alone with Bert. He did something bad to Cosmo, and he might do it to you."

"Okay. That's not a big deal."

"Okay..." We worked for I'd say a month more, until we got the call from Riff Raff and Magenta, saying that they had the plan ready, and they were going to kill their master. We told Burt we were going to see family, so we arranged it with Bert to go to America as soon as we got back. I had had to take care of my brother's kid, Rebecca, and Nation and I were in love with her.

We headed towards the hotel, and teleported to their planet, Transexual.

A/N I own nothing. Today's thought to ponder: "Sometimes me think: 'What is friend?' And then me say, 'Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.' " - Cookie Monster.


	13. Chapter 13

We landed in a rental house, and Nation got the owner to practically give it to us. We shied away from the people for three months, until we got the call they were coming. Nation had been on the phone for a while. "Listen, we have her, as long as the queen doesn't find her, she'll be okay. Columbia will be too, just pack!" She paced back and forth.

"Hon! It's going to be fine! I'll even wait here, with Rebecca."

"Can't I take her?"

"No. She's mine." I kissed her forehead.

"Okay..." She grabbed her bag, and led Cosmo out of the house. I'm surprised he hadn't noticed that I took Rebecca back to Transexual, but he would find out soon enough. I sat out on the porch, and rocked him. They got back, and Cosmo shouted for me.

"Ansalong!" I shushed and held Rebecca up.

"My god. You took a baby." Cosmo smiled at me.

"Oh hush up. This is my niece. I'm babysitting, but I think I might take her. She's so cherubic." Nation walked over and started to coo.

Cosmo leaned to Riff. "The girls in this house have been baby crazy of late."

"We can hear you," Nation said in an almost sotto voice.

"But you still want a baby, correct?"

"Damn right. OH! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to curse!"

"It's okay. I have to take care of her, because her parents are divorced. Rebecca here was a mistake, but she's one mistake I would make." I snuggled her, and kissed her little hands.

"Aw... Cosmo! I want a baby!"

"No. Let's get inside, I'm sure all of Transylvania can hear her."

"Then don't let Magenta and Riff Raff share a room." I laughed at the girl. She looked familiar... Wasn't she a bridesmaid at the wedding?

"Well, they might have to," Nation spoke up, "we have one guest room, and a pullout couch. It, unfortunately, squeaks, so they will need to have the bedroom."

"I'll sleep on the floor." I spoke up, and let Rebecca have her bottle.

"Okay! I get the pullout couch!" We talked for a little while, until Nation told us it was time to go to bed, so Columbia and I tried to talk, but they heard us, so we just wrote each other in her diary. There, we found out we were not only the bridesmaids, but cousins as well, and she then decided to try to seduce me into sleeping with her, which I declined. I ended up falling asleep at the foot of her bed, and woke up to them taking a picture of me, I jerked, and pulled Columbia's top off. We were eating breakfast then, and were waiting for Clumbia to explain.

"You know it's not my fault I sleep in the nude."

"But... When did you change?"

"Well, after the screaming stopped, and Nellie went to sleep, I, um... Disabled." I scrunched my nose at her word choice. Disabled? I shrugged.

"Did you always sleep in the nude?" I mentally laughed at her tone of voice.

"For a while now. Since before I moved in the castle."

"What! How come I didn't know this? !"

"I don't know. I mean I usually waited till you were asleep when you were in the room at all. I mean, it's not like I would wait until you were trying to sleep, then blind you by my beauty." She pulled off a pose, and Nation laughed.

"What's the appeal of sleeping in the nude?" Nation looked at Cosmo and smiled.

"Well, if the sheets are soft, it's like you're still in the womb."

"I want a baby! Please! Please? Let's go try right now!" We all kind of laughed and looked away.

Rebecca started whining, so I got up to get her, but got shoved out of the way by Nation "I'll get her!"

"Ow..." I rubbed my arm, and walked towards Cosmo.

"I tell you, I have no idea what's going on, why she wants a baby so much. I mean, she's gone mad," he said through a forced smile.

"I used to be like that," Magenta replied. "But I got over it by having a little shit I was babysitting piss in my mouth."

His eyes got wide, wider than I ever had seen them. "We-well I'm sure that was not his fault, he's so youn-"

"Let me stop you right there. He was six. He woke me up at midnight, just to piss in my face. To this day I don't know why." Columbia and I were trying not to laugh, while Riff was stroking her hair. "But that doesn't change the way I feel about them. In fact... I kind of want a baby myself."

"What?"

"Aw," we looked at Columbia, "Genta would make a great mommy."

"Thanks Coco." After this part of the conversation, Genta herded the girls into her room, whispering something to Riff like "We're going to talk some sense into Nation." After we were in the room, we made a semi-circle around Genta. "You may the people I trust the most. And Nell. I just met you, don't get all defensive." I scowled.

"So, what's up?"

"I'm late." Genta put her head down on the pillows.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I mean, I don't have a test, but I am almost sure there is someone inside me."

"What?" They all looked at me.

"She's almost as bad as Janet, isn't she Coco?" Columbia laughed.

"Creature of the night, staring the Virgin Slut." They both burst out.

"Not after about an hour!" Nation and I were so confused, and when they saw our faces, they laughed even more.

"Just ignore us. So. Do you want one of us to run and get the test?"

"No need. We have plenty. Nell?"

I groaned, and walked into Nation's room, to get the bag of tests. I went back into the room, and I gave her a test. "Go piss on one of these. You should get a result back. Wait... How far along do you think you are?"

"I don't know, four or five?"

"Well you should be good." Nation popped up, almost instantly.

"Really?"

"Yes. Go. Now." We waited, and she came out smiling, with a little pink plus on the test. We all squeaked, and she was passed from arm to arm.

We all peed on our own test, and after a brief cycle of mourning from Nation, we made our way to the kitchen. "So, one of us here is a mommy. Guess which one." All the girls had a test behind their back, and were approaching the boys. They both looked so scared.

We then proceeded to put the tests on the counter, there were three negative, and one positive. Magenta was looking at her's, not Riff Raff. He noticed, and looked there too, and he gasped. He walked behind her, and put his arms around her. She nodded, then let out a tiny gasp as he gently put his hands to her stomach. We all just sat down smiling, it was like they were in their own little world, swaying to a silent beat.

After reality came back, Riff Raff started to freak out. "You know, we are on the run! I guess we forgot, huh... Should we go back to Earth, deliver the baby there?"

"I... That would be the best choice."

"Well," Columbia chimed in, "We should get the fake passports, and changes of clothes."

"Passports?"

"My god. How long were you on Earth with..." She grimaced. "Frank."

Nation patted her on the back.

"What, four years, five? But only two or three before you found us, and our life wouldn't be the same without you."

"I'd say. We wouldn't be on the run, if it wasn't for me."

"Now, that's not necessarily true. We would still be here with them. Have I told you how we met?"

"God, Magenta _please_."

''No, I'm sure they would love to hear this. Both of our families, being fairly close to royalty, had arranged marriages. Well, Nation and Cosmo had two mums. Lesbians, Nellie."They glanced at me, and I was still a little confused. "Well, we were going to be the queen and... Queen I suppose of planet bisexual-"

"Please, just - stop there. I'll continue. Nation and Magenta were good friends, they were always going over to Nation's house. And where Magenta went, I did too. Well, Magenta told Nation she had a crush on me, and Cosmo came out to Nation, Genta came out to me, we came out to our parents, and Frank, because I had already gone to my mentor. It was horrible." Riff had spoken up.

"But oh-so worth it." Both couples started Kissing, and I opened my arms so Columbia could hug me.

"So. So. So. SO!" Columbia bumped in, and they glared at her. "Let's play a game. Never have I ever?"

We played never have I ever first as a drinking game. Columbia drew first. "Never have I ever slept with a random stranger. Shit." She chugged a beer.

Then mine. "Never have I ever got wine up my... Vagj? Who would do that!" She had to chug another.

Cosmo... "Met my soulmate." Him, Nation and Riff Raff chugged one.

Nation's. "Never have I ever fucked a midget..."

"Shit!" Columbia chugged another one. Everyone started staring. "What?"

Riff Raff's... "Known all the lyrics to devil went down to Georgia? Prove it."

"Fuck. Do I have to?"

"If you know it." We all turned to Magenta.

"Not all of it..." She glared at Columbia. "Genta, write the words down in my diary... I can't do it anyway."

Long story short, she sang a really weird song, I think it was from America, and we all laughed it off.

"Aw.. I wanna play, this seems fun!" Magenta broke through the laughter.

"Well, we can play the truth or dare version," Columbia said, hardly slurring.

"Yay! My turn. Never have I ever had twenty one shots on my twenty first birthday. Nell?" She looked at me.

"I assume you will be the one performing the dare?"Everyone nodded. "When did you turn twenty one?"

"I'm seventeen, even though you can drink from the time you're like, two." I rolled my eyes.

"Actually, you can drink once you are twenty one, just like the US on Earth."

"So, we dare you to." Columbia got up to get the things.

"So, is that really why we hadn't known your birthday? We are offended, right Cosmo?" She started kissing him.

"So, we dare you to have the twenty one shots, or you can skip this dare, but if you do, another player can deflect their dare to you, or, you can french anyone in this circle. Take your pick."

"Um. Deflect the dare. Next." She glared. I wasn't even twenty one yet!

"Me! Columbia screeched, and we had to remind her we were in hiding. "Never have I ever been proposed to or proposed to someone...Anyone? When I had that pregnancy scare, that bartender proposed to me. Anyone else?" She looked at Riff Raff, and winked.

"Nell?"

"When I got out of high school, I was proposed to by my sweetheart, only to have him cheat on me a month before the wedding... So, no. For once."

"Well, I guess it's just us Riffy." He squeezed my hand.

"Not for long." Riff Raff got and sat in front of Magenta. "I've known you for a long time. Hell, almost since the day you were born." Well, he got an eye roll out of me and a chuckle out of them. "So, I have had a long time to have gotten to know you. I remember you going through all of the phases, from pink teddy bears, to your favorite bands on the walls, and finally sketches of models, clothes, animals, covering the walls. What stood out most to Columbia, and this is partly to do with her." Columbia practically bouncing up and down in her chair. "Was a whole section, just on wedding items. Not just dresses, but suits, centerpieces, rings, even the cutlery. I would've never gotten married with Frank still breathing, I just couldn't. So, now that we are temporarily safe, Magenta Vitus, The love of my life," He slipped off the chair and put his hand in his coat pocket. "Would you be my wife?" He pulled a ring box out, and Magenta fainted.

After she got up, on the way to hospital, Columbia explained how she gave everyone lemon team explaining how to act drunk.

We waited for about about a month, with Columbia going out for days at a time, and I spent most of my time in the guest room, which was my room in the first place. Until we heard Magenta exclaim "oh!" And we rushed out.

"I feel loved..."Columbia ran over to Riff Raff and hugged him.

"Genta... Help me..." He whispered and we laughed. "Well, we need to go. Go pack. We leave in an an hour. Now." I got my bags, and walked into Nation's room, who was phoning Bert.

She hung up after a little while. "He knows we're coming, it would be best to get to the shuttle now." We ran outside, and got in. We made our way to our rooms, and we stayed in the shuttle for about two weeks, and I suggested the name Pacifica for one of Magenta's children, because she was having twins, and and we had gotten settled down into Dentonvale, I got to share a room with Ricky, Nation and Comso finally got to share a room, and the others had apartments near the studio.

A/N I own nothing. And it seems I like to update late, huh? And if you've read Diary of a Groupie, this was a little boring, and I apologize. But, next week is the last chapter of this, and the last few chapters of Diary of a Groupie next week too. A big week, and a tearful week. Yeah, but I do give some spoilers in the last author's note, so something to look forward to.

And to apologize for being so incredibly boring today, I'm going to share something with you. How many of you are familiar with a website called GrooveShark? It's just a big music website. When you're a member, you have a custom URL that is just your profile. So, I'm making a lot of playlists like the Rocky Original 1973 Cast. Shocky, Hedwig, things like that. So, I thought I would share, just so you don't have to put up with the work! My URL is #!/landdownunder . Yeah, so just copy and paste that to a new tab, and you'll get my page. I hope.

Today's thought for today: All families are embarrassing. And if they're not embarrassing, then they're dead.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N It's 12:00, July first! It is my birthday! I feel like nothing has changed. Ah, well. **Edit 8/31/12: **It's not my fault I'm late this time! My mother is currently working on a page long apology, I will post the Google docs link when she's done.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Ricky and I were doing our rounds, when Ricky was called to set. "Have fun." He kissed me on the cheek. I finished the rounds, and waited for Nation to buzz me in.

"Ah! Nurse Ansalong, you've arrived."

"Oh that was real short and that was because of the other monkeys-" She cut me off.

"Attend to Mr. Majors." I nodded, because she didn't like me to call the patients monkeys.

"There are just one or two formalities that need to be dealt with Mrs. Majors, a contract needing to be," I had bent over to get his wheelchair, and Cosmo hit me, "signed." I had started to wheel Brad out of the room, and Janet followed.

"Sign the contract tomorrow."I heard Cosmo hit the door. They talked for a while, but I got bored, and started to wheel him away. Janet soon followed.

"Why did you tell me not to sign now?"

"_Well_, that way you get the first day _free." _Janet was walking around his cage, and I walked out, but started watching the telly. And guess who was on screen? After about fifteen minutes, I had gotten his food out, and fed him. I watched a little more television, and served Bert, nation, and Cosmo.

I walked in with the food on a trolley, and they just talked and sipped their wine. They had such boring conversations while they were on the job. Ricky rolled in a television, and I finished serving them.

Ricky and I made our way to either side of the door. But, when Janet came in, and Burt turned on the telly, Ricky and I walked over, and I stood behind it. Farley Flavors, DTV's newest... Well, I want to call him psycho, was on screen, and he started to sing. Cosmo, Nation, and Ricky formed a chorus line, and after, I crawled on top of the telly. They formed a chorus line without me, and I got off, sang a line, and Ricky and I wheeled it out. We did our nightly rounds, and the last was Brad. I spoon fed him again, and left clicking the spoon and bowl. We made our way back to the dining room.

"Are all the beds made up?"

"Oh yes, I plumped up all the pillows and changed up all th-"

"Then lock up, for the night."

"Okay!" I waved, and left with Ricky to do so.

"He treats you like shit."

"No he doesn't! He's just being a good father, and he finally has authority over me."

"But you're an actress."

"Shut up! He used to always have to read Madeline to me when I fell asleep, and now, he's in higher authority than me. Must feel good." He laughed, and we locked up. I got changed into my robe, and showed Janet to the bathroom. I waited in the door, and showed her to her room. I walked back to Ricky and mine, the one nearest to the bathroom. I slipped off my robe, and Ricky took a picture of me in my teddy.

"Night night."

"Night night." He took another picture, and I smiled.

"It's time for bye-byes, it's been a great day, thanks a heap." I moved closer to him, and he took a picture of us together. "Now it's time," he put the camera on the nightstand, "for everyone to go to sleep." I curled up against him, and he turned out the light. I fell asleep pretty quickly, and I awoke to the gentle serenade of birds. Oh yeah, and Nation throwing a pillow at me.

"Wake up! Time to make rounds!"

I groaned, and Nation laughed. Ricky and I fed everyone, took the sheets off the bed of the man who always tried to escape, and made our way back to Nation and Cosmo's office. They weren't there, so we just watched Janet sing some song on the breakfast show. They came back, and Janet wondered out after a while. "Nation... Where did Janet go?" She looked around.

"Damn!" We all ran out, and practically piled on top of each other trying to get into Brad's room.

"Aah! Janet's parents?"

"Are you the doctor?"

"Yes."

"There's gonna have to be an investigation."

"Oh?" Nation and I glanced at each other, Cosmo didn't really like to be questioned.

"There are regulations against this sort of thing."

"It's for his own good..."

"Hoopla Janet!"

"Bert! Sweetheart! Oh it's fabulous to see you!" We all started cheering out of relief.

"What's going on here?"

"Mpmhhmph." I had assumed the position by the door.

"The patient was in great danger of doing himself a mischief."

"We only want what's best for him. As parents you must understand." Nation kind of looked down.

"No. No I don't. Brad doesn't need to be trussed up like a turkey. There are drugs to keep him quiet!"

"We used them, all of them."

"And none of them worked?"

"No."

"Then double the strength."

"We did."

"We know our job," Cosmo said, almost cutting Nation off.

"We also know how you feel. We're not strangers to confusion."

"We're not confused."

"Well I am, goddamn it! You trust Brad with this crowd pleaser?"

Ricky and I made our way over to the blinds. "I'm not a loco with motives to suture myself, I've been a cynic for too many years. Playing doctor and nursey can be good for your health, I've seen clinics, with those gimmicks, in Tangiers." He circled to Nation, who closed the cage door.

"But if you open your heart to a smooth operator, he'll take you for all that you've got. He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later. It'll shake ya the way he takes off... Like a shot."

"You need a bit of... Ooooh Shock Treatment." They pulled off Bert's glasses, and crushed them. "Yes you're jumping like a real live wire. You need a bit of... Ooooh Shock Treatment." Ricky and I opened the blinds, and practically blinded Bert. "So look out mister, don't you blow your last resistor, for a vista that'll mystify ya!" Cosmo gently pushed me forward with Bert's... Blind person stick... I stepped up on the bars, showing a little more than intended to Janet's parents.

"You're blinded by romance you're blinded by science. Your condition is critically grave. But don't expect mercy from such an alliance. Suspicion, of tradition's so new wave." Brad sighed, and Cosmo popped up behind him. Nation and I smirked at each other.

"You need a bit of..." Ricky took a picture of Janet. "Ooooh Shock Treatment. Yes you're jumping like a real live wire." Ricky took a picture of Bert holding Janet. "You need a bit of... Ooooh Shock Treatment. So look out mister, don't you blow your last resistor," Her parents stepped into the shot, "for a vista that'll certify ya! Fy ya, fy ya, fy ya! You need a bit of..." He took another photo of her parents with them."Ooooh Shock Treatment." Nation and I got in the shot. "Yes you're jumping like a real live wire. You need a bit of... Ooooh Shock Treatment. So look out mister, don't you blow your last resistor, for a sister that'll certify ya!" I screamed, and ran around the cage with the others. "Fy ya, fy ya, fy ya!" I ran around a little, and we all went to Nation and Cosmo's office for a few drinks, but Ricky and I had to make the lunchtime rounds. We went back to Janet's dressing room, and she was passed out on the couch, Nation eating a lemon slice.

"Where's Comso?"

"Working." She rolled her eyes.

"You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be. Happy, happy, happy!" She rolled her eyes again and glared at me.

"Okay. I know what you should do. Go change into your robe, go into your office, lock the door, and shove all the stuff off the top of your guy's desk."

"And you really think I'll turn him on by making a mess?"

"Just an idea." Ricky and I laughed a little, and Nation finally went and tried it. We babysat Janet, until Nation came back and woke her up.

"Last check for Faith Factory medical outfits."

"Well, that's me."

"And me." Bert took care of her, because he was already dressed.

Ricky and I had the first aisle, but sang last. "Got some heartfelt symptoms and I'm feelin' sneaky." I ripped my dress to make it shorter. I could hear Cosmo groan.

"Young male intern, tall and handsome."

"Got my hems so high, they say I'm bein' cheeky."

"Legs like mine were really made for dancin'!" He kicked.

We danced around with mirrors. "Whoa whoa ho! Hey hey hey!"

"When heaven's in the music, hell is in control. The angels got the voices but the devil got the rock-n-roll!"

"We may look like we're phony medics, but we took our look from a book by Fredricks! Oh look what I did to my ID, hey! Look what I did to my ID!" We made our way to the stage, I sat beside Columbia, who I honestly hadn't seen for a few days, and we weren't allowed to talk. The ceremony went on for a little while, some guy gave Janet a car, which Cosmo took the keys to, and Farley came out, who I could tell Columbia was still mad at. But, Betty, Oliver, and Brad burst through the wall, and Farley looked at him like a madman. He started chanting out after a while, the police escorted them out, and he pulled Columbia up and kissed her.

Nation, Cosmo, Ricky and I ran over to the corridor to the set, and started passing out straightjackets, and then ran to Cosmo and Nation's office.

"Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension, you're where the heart is you're okay! Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention, you're the acceptable face, of the human race. You're Denton Denton USA!" We laughed, and drank some more.

A/N Bye. :) Today's thought to ponder: I'm too tired for one today. It's been awesome with you guys. So, go ahead and read my other stories, they're just sitting there. I do have an iPod challenge I might post. I don't want this to end... It's fun having one sided conversations with you, it's like talking to my boyfriend on Facebook. Aw... I'll miss you! And I'm editing Revenge of The Dead Queen, don't worry. It's awesome.


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